Only God gets it right the first time.
Relax. The pressure is off. You won’t gain ground without giving yourself permission to make mistakes.
Everything good that shows up in your life began with a mistake. Allow imperfection to be part of your daily routine. Screw up, and rejoice.
Why not change?
We spend too much time justifying, rationalizing and excusing our behaviors. That time should be better spent making changes – home improvement.
The most amazing thing about the human condition is that we can change. The ability to deliberately change our minds, our hearts and our actions distinguishes us from the animal kingdom.
So why do so many stick with what’s not working? Why do so many damage themselves and harm others because they would rather stay stuck?
Far better to change than offer one more apology, one more excuse.
How to make life easier:
Accept the apology you never got. Then let go.
Let go because it’s exhausting to hold on to anger. It’s debilitating to let resentment escalate into the fury that grows into free-floating rage.
Getting mad can just be a reaction, but staying mad is the slippery slope to the life you don’t want to live. Let go.
“What I don’t understand, Stevie,” she said, “is why you write junk like this in the first place.” – Ms. Hisler, Stephen King’s high school principal (from King’s book: On Writing; A Memoir of the Craft)
Stephen King’s career as a best-selling author might have never taken off if he paid serious attention to the shaming scorn he received from Ms. Hisler. She didn’t like his first, 8-page launch into the world of horror and supernatural, retelling the story of The Pit and the Pendulum. She considered it trash, and made him return the twenty-five cents that each of three dozen students paid for his first commercial venture.
So it goes.
We all deal with shame. When you create, when you step forward to do good work, there’s always someone out there who will try to make you feel lousy about it.
But it’s not your problem; it’s theirs. Shame gets its power only when you accept it.
You are enough. Get on with your wonderful life.
Why focus on the competition?
Focus on you, and what you do.
Know your competition. Know how you’re different. Know why it matters. The story you’re creating is not about them; it’s about you.
Be disciplined, but take time to dream. Do your work; do it well. Refuse to get sidetracked by the noise and hype of others. Refuse to get sidelined by the inner critic.
No one does what you do, in the unique and innovative way you do it. Get out there and kick butt!
Make my mind adaptable to any circumstance. – Epictetus
We need not await orders from others on what they think we should do. We can think for ourselves. We can figure out the right path to pursue.
It comes down to being adaptable. To think with a curious and creative mindset. To become aware of what’s available to try, and then try it. Try everything, and see what works.
If it works, stick with it. Stick with it until results stop working. Stick with it until we figure out the next and better step.
The power of one
Sixty-two years ago today, Rosa Parks, a 42 year-old African-American seamstress, was seated on a public bus in Montgomery, Alabama. She was in the row behind seats reserved for white people. When her row was needed to accommodate an additional white passenger, she was asked to move to the back of the bus. She refused, the bus driver had her arrested, and she was fined for breaking the laws of racial segregation in Alabama.
Her arrest was noted by leaders of the NAACP and others, resulting in a lawsuit, and a 381 day boycott of the Montgomery bus system. The US Supreme Court later ruled that the bus segregation laws in Alabama were unconstitutional.
Years later, in her biography, Rosa said that she refused to move because she was “…tired of giving in.” Her refusal to move led to an avalanche of legal and cultural changes that continue today.
Never underestimate your power – the power of one – to change your world.
What to leave out?
Be selective. Banish the bloat. Let go of what does not add value to what you do, what you create, and how you live. Figure out what has use, what has potential, and what needs to stay, or go.
Often the most important ingredient is the one you choose not to use.
Less can be more.
Everything about porn is fake.
Everything about you (and me too) must be real.
Porn shows up with many masks; not just the raw, sexual stuff. Gossip, false news, deceptive online content – the list goes on, distinguished by mental and emotional sleight of hand.
Fakery compromises our energy, and works feverishly to undermine our honesty to self, and confuse our moral compass. We energize this fakery when we fail to think critically, when we forget to examine our choices, when we don’t manage how we spend our time and energy.
Let’s work harder, let’s think critically, let’s make better choices. It’s time to move beyond porn – the pure fakery that distracts us from our purpose and path.
Learn by listening.
What I say today teaches me nothing. What I learn comes from listening to you. With listening that takes on many forms.
It’s up to me to pay attention. To observe, to listen, and take it all in. And only speak when I have value to share.