“When you consistently choose to be loving with yourself and others, you will experience real love.”
Realize and respect an appropriate set of priorities. Invest yourself accordingly. Choose your battles, choose your life.
From our friends at Mind Body Green:
Are you in love or emotionally dependent?
Deeply rooted in the core of each of us, is the desire for love. In this desire we find our true identity, our reason for being, our heart, our soul, our essence. In most of us, our desire for love has been distorted, buried or even purposely brushed under the rug. Pressures of life, careers, goals, and society are devices capable of stifling our light and desire. If you look honestly, sweetly and discerningly at your own life, your desire will become apparent as a deep seeking of connectedness, healing, creation, and joy. However, we have difficulty simply being in this state. We have been conditioned to think we must get on with more important things. In becoming adults, we were taught that efficiency is more important than love.
Efficiency is the “how” of life: how we interact with our world and adapt to the changing demands of daily life; how we survive, grow and create; how we deal with and overcome stress and adversity; how effective we are in our functional roles and involvements.
Love is the “why” of life: why we interact, adapt, survive, grow and create; why we push through adversity, hard times, and overcome struggles; why we are effective and efficient at all. Love is the reason for being efficient. I believe love is the fundamental energy of the human spirit, the force that drives our very existence. Love is what keeps us going. Grace is love in action. Grace is the flowing, creative, actualization of love itself. Through grace, all things and goodness are made possible.
Love should be the beginning of and reason for everything. Efficiency is the “how” love expresses its “why.” But this functioning hierarchy gets mixed up easily. It happens to all of us. We get so caught up in striving for efficiency that love seems like a luxury, or even an obstacle to efficient functioning. Getting too far out of balance makes for a very unloving being who is very efficient at what they do. The opposite unbalance creates a loving but very inefficient being. Balancing the two is mastering life.
I encourage you to take a caring and careful look into your own heart. Find patterns in your tiniest thoughts and your most significant actions. Be sure they are formed in truth and love. Let the beauty of what you love be what you do. Be energized by love and release old limitations. Know yourself to know the “why” of your life. Live your life efficiently from, with, and in love.
“He who has a Why? in life can tolerate almost any How?”
“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”
When we make assumptions about a loved one we close ourselves; we are no longer open to see them as they are. We can only see them as we think they are. The fulfillment for love, connection and intimacy are diminished because we are no longer having a relationship with them. When we make assumptions about our loved one, we are having a relationship with our distorted thoughts about them. Those are two different relationships.
Do not only examine your assumptions, question them. Assumptions prevent us from loving what is, and interpreting reality in a clear way.
“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”
-Thomas Merton, No Man Is An Island
The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.