How you teach others to treat you

Set boundaries

It’s fundamental to personal power.

Become aware of how often and how far you back up when others violate your boundaries.  You don’t have to accept the intrusion of others just to keep the peace and avoid conflict.  You can learn effective ways to push back assertively when pushed.   You can learn to be in control.

You are in charge of how you teach others how to  treat you.

Choreograph your next move

Create space

Take the time to pause.  In that space, that sliver of time that can be as brief as the time it takes to exhale, discover your power.  Your power to choose how you will respond to whatever is showing up at the moment.

Within that space you exercise control over your life.  You decide what’s next.

Life need not be a continuing series of thoughtless reactions.  Take the time to create space,  and choreograph your next move.

Why not play to win?

 Why settle?

Middle ground is not the high ground.  When you compromise, you don’t win, you just settle for less.

Are your goals too lofty, your standards too high?  Is that compromise just practicality?  Too often practicality is based on fear and a desire to be safe.

No one is truly safe.  Why not play the game to win?  You may lose from time to time, but losing is also part of winning.

No time to judge

When you judge others

Judging others does not define who they are, it defines who you are.

First look inside. Be accountable for your thoughts, opinions and judgments.

Next time you feel the urge to judge, think again. Be so busy improving you that you have no time to judge others.

Which ones?

Habits of highly ineffective people

  • Play the victim
  • Seek approval
  • Prioritize the urgent over the important
  • Endure less than satisfying relationships
  • Quit when the going gets tough

There are at least 27 more habits.  Which ones are tripping you up?

Dare to ask

To get answers. To become clear on the what, how and why of that which others share and you experience. Ask to understand, so that you may be understood
Then listen. Let in the light. Refuse to stay stuck in your own small universe of limited knowledge and beliefs.
Keep an open mind and think critically on what you hear. Closed minds are limited minds. Closed minds fail to grow.
Go ahead – dare to ask.

Is it time?


Because the smarter we get, the less we need to speak.

Listening – it’s more than just hearing, it’s the gateway to understanding.  The act of listening is choosing not to vie for attention, but to learn.

Listening is how we build trust, how we solve problems, how we make fewer mistakes.

Is it time to listen, rather than wait to be heard?



Every day

Feeling better is no substitute for doing better

The deal closed.  The work shipped. The bonus arrived.  The pressure is off.  So celebrate, relax, and recharge – but not for long.

Celebrations, affirmations and all the feel-good stuff can’t replace action and enterprise – the disciplined effort to get better.  Life is about getting better or falling behind.

There is no substitute for doing better.  Every day.