My trust in me

What if?

What would I do if I didn’t have to do things perfectly?

Answer: More and better than I’m doing now.

Trying so hard to get it perfect gets in the way of getting it done.   That compelling, irrational desire for perfect is an act of my will and ego, rather than acceptance and flow – my trust in me.   Trying to get it perfect is me forcing a square peg into a round hole.

I want more acceptance, more flow, more harmony – in who I am and what I do.

After all, I am enough.

Show you care

Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity

Turn off the phone, shut down the browser. Go eye to eye, and take the time to listen.

The current of life is found in the human connection, not the plug and socket.  Show you care – personally engage.

Misery loves safety

“This is the call of our life. Surf the chaos!”  – Denise Van W.

You want something safe?  Call your mother.  Ask if she still has your crib; maybe a cozy blanket and a quiet room.

Otherwise, get on with life.

Today you have to carve out your own space.  You have to take more risks, and learn to do lots of difficult things on your own; often in messy situations, with minimal support – maybe no support.

You set yourself up for misery when you fail, or worse, refuse, to exert influence over your own destiny.

It’s all in how we choose

True life is lived when tiny changes occur.  – Leo Tolstoy

It’s rarely the big stuff that changes our lives.  We’re not wired that way.  We change with all the small things that start to roll together and gather momentum.  Individually, those changes seem insignificant –  like a new routine, an adopted habit, maybe a shift in attitude.  Perhaps a new connection we bring into our life, or a quiet commitment we decide to keep.

But day by day the changes add up.  Then one day we hit the tipping point, and realize we’re not the same anymore – we’ve made a quantum leap.

The only question:  Will we leap forward, or fall back?  It’s all in how we choose those tiny changes.

Who wants to settle for less?

I can’t control chaos.

Who can?   Where is it carved in stone that chaos is bad, that everything must show up neat and orderly?   Where is it written that I must struggle swimming against the tide, and go crazy trying to tame chaos?

I can embrace chaos.  I can work with it, and find a way to use it to my advantage.  I can get better at managing myself within it too. 

I’ve found that if you want everything in perfect and predictable order, you have to settle for less, you have to plant your feet in mediocrity.  That’s where perfect and predictable thrive.

Who wants to settle for less?

No fraud

Embrace the challenge

We are all in some stage of recovery.

We appear competent, but we have plenty of cracks and flaws.  And as the light of success shines on us, those flaws become illuminated.

We won’t hide the flaws.  We’ll accept and deal with them as personal home improvement, as work in process.  We won’t be a fraud to ourselves, and undermine our success.

Those creative U-turns

The life which is not examined is not worth living. – Pablo Picasso

Nor the life not well-lived.

We need time for introspection, and we also need time to move out of our head, and take action.  If we don’t have the time, we must jettison what’s in the way and make some room.

We need to take those continual and creative U-turns that help us find the right balance between thinking and living.

Beware of conventional wisdom

The shortfalls of will

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”   Time-worn conventional wisdom.

We’re not strong enough to push through solely on will.  Determination might be the starting point, but it alone won’t take us to the finish line.

Will needs to be strengthened with habits, routines, preparation and persistence.  It needs to be nourished with doses of desire, and bolstered by the discipline to move past the self-sabotaging instinct to back off, to quit, maybe rest for a while.

Mind does not always rule over matter.  Beware of conventional wisdom.