Don’t be a fixer-upper
Create distance from the crazy-makers. You know who they are in your life.
They’re the creative and clever and engaging people who are also the category 5 storm centers. They live for drama. They’re the ones with plenty of problems, too few solutions and lots of people to blame – including you.
Resist the temptation to fix them. They’ll drag you into their vortex, and distract you from your goals. And if you find yourself woven tightly within their circle, ask yourself why? You may be unconsciously self-sabotaging your own success.
We don’t lose our personal power. We give it away.
We fall under the delusion that giving power to someone else can help us better deal with the problems and chaos that life brings. We mistakenly think it helps us move forward.
Too often we learn that delusion in our formative years; patterning the mistaken thoughts and teachings of others. Yet when we relinquish our power we become victims. Who wants to live as a victim?
We must get our power back. Reclaim it. Then use it. We must reject the lie that someone else can live our lives better than we.
When was the last time you learned something?
Expect to learn. Make the effort to learn.
Your world gets smaller and smaller when you fail to stimulate your brain. Your brain begins to turn to mush.
Possibilities start to show up when you take the time to learn, to engage your curiosity and expand your awareness of the greater world around you.
Why not try a new language? Why not read a book in a new genre? What about travel, or trying a class or webinar that transports you beyond your sphere of knowledge? Something that pushes you forward, that takes you outside your comfort zone – beyond the dullness of the daily routine.
Sharpen your mind. The options are unlimited, but you have to take the first step.
Want to get really rich?
Try working 80 hours a week for the next 20 years. That, combined with smart choices and a little luck, will get you there.
There are no shortcuts to wealth, unless, of course, you become a benefactor in a trust fund or life insurance payout; or win the mega-lottery.
Many say they want to be rich. Few put in the time. It’s okay. Just don’t complain.
I’m perfectly imperfect.
Still a work in progress.
I’ve realized that success is not fully measured by what I achieve, credentials I acquire, and material trappings that accumulate along the way. I now know the biggest measure of success is how much I really like my imperfect me.
It wasn’t always that way. I just worked harder and tried to hide my flaws. I thought it would help me love the man in the mirror. But that’s not how it works. I have to like me to love me – flaws and all. And when I love me, everything gets better – loving others too.
How about you?
The curse of knowledge
If you’re not careful, you can become too trusting of your knowledge, too secure in your private delusion of how smart you are, too self-assured in thinking others understand you the way you do.
You must learn to step back and ask questions. Good questions. Sometimes seemingly silly questions. Ask lots of questions to make sure you understand, to ensure you are understood.
Every day, too many people – geniuses included – screw up because they assumed they knew enough. They failed to ask questions. Every day, people let their egos get in the way of asking what they assumed were dumb questions.
There are no dumb questions. Don’t let what you know get in the way of what you need to know.
Many a false start was made by standing still. – Fortune cookie
Standing still is falling behind. You have to haul ass, get a move on things. You have to step beyond the fear that keeps your feet frozen in place. You either make progress or live with regret.
The cost of standing still, the price for not starting, is financial, emotional and physical turmoil. It’s time to get a move on!
Go ahead, piss somebody off.
I live in an age of the safe space. I get frightened by those who challenge my thinking, who go after my sensibilities.
Ray Bradbury got it right. I can get so focused on not offending anyone, I’ll go to great lengths to avoid sharing the inconvenient truths. I’ll even burn books, or the equivalent.
I must kill the censor. That inner voice that tells me to be politically correct, that tells me to refrain from difficult conversations, that tells me to ignore those who might seem offensive.
I don’t want to live in a world where everyone thinks the same as me. I don’t want to disinvite controversy for sake of safety. I don’t want to become a social justice martyr.
I do want to practice more radical candor, and engage in more difficult conversations. To bare the truth. To acknowledge biases, and at the same time respect those who challenge my views.
My life is a social experiment. Why not test its boundaries?
The purpose of listening is to understand
Not to judge. Not to ready a follow-on response before the speaker even finishes. Not to categorize or showcase your biases; or conclude whether they’re friend or foe, wearing a halo or horns.
If you want to be understood, you must take the time to first understand.
Mario was right
“I can teach a chimp how to cook dinner. But I cannot teach a chimp to love it.” – famed chef Mario Batali
And so it goes.
Passion drives the joy of work. Skill feeds that love.
Getting good at what you do stokes the fire of passion, and in turn, that passion feeds the desire to get better at what you do. Not necessarily perfect, but good enough, and better than most. It’s what enables you to ride the learning curve, and deal with the mundane, sometimes boring, in-between stuff. It’s what then gets you to the part that really turns you on.