Why does intensely loving someone cause raging self doubt?

It seems the more intensely we love someone, especially someone new, the more prone we are to experience sense of self-doubt and impending doom. Omg, it’s been 2 hours and they haven’t texted me once! Are they okay? Do they not love me anymore? Are they cheating on me? What did I do? Obviously, relax – easier said than done.

It may be counterintuitive but it seems to be the nature of the game – feel more good – feel more bad. Fortunately, as we mature the bad tends to fade, but so does the good – the sense of magic and blinding obsession that we enjoyed or suffered from in high school just doesn’t happen anymore. Or does it?

Is it possible to learn to love as freely as a child, with all the bells and whistles of infatuation with a high school sweetheart, without the doubt and fear of failure? Love yourself. I know, I keep saying it over and over – love yourself. Loving yourself is the number one way to relieve self-doubt. It builds confidence and helps you understand that you’ll be okay if you don’t succeed – heck, you’ll still be loveable. But what if someone feels like the one, our soulmate, our destiny? What if life can’t go on without them by our side?

We’ve all been there. We’ve all been infatuated or intensely in love and most of us have had our hearts broken – more than once. Sometimes we break them ourselves. But it only takes one that got away to build a growing sense of anxiety – omg, she’s perfect. Ah, what now? – and we freeze or act completely out of character. In my case, I sit back in my consciousness generally reserved for catastrophes and heated situations – no good because in case you haven’t heard, girls just want to have fun.

Here’s the crux of the issue – if you shut down and doubt yourself you’ll be less confident, less fun and less you – all intensely undesirable traits. If you really love someone, there’s no better time to open up to yourself and enjoy the gift of puppy love.

love | relationships | connection

Comments

8 responses to “Why does intensely loving someone cause raging self doubt?”

  1. Jiyune Avatar
    Jiyune

    Very relatable. I say go big. That way you can weed out the psychologically damaged ones. Ya know, the ones with commitmentphobia, bitter exes, emotional baggage, etc. I do a lot of sports… I’ve come to understand that if I’m not getting hurt, I’m probably not getting better… (I snowboard, figure skate, and climb) Same with relationships. U don’t put yourself out there to get hurt, u miss the thrill of the beginning. Just saying..,

  2. Allison Sheridan Avatar

    I remember the giddy excitement of a new love and the feelings you describe, but I have to tell you that in my experience the true love is completely different. it definitely started with the giddy excitement but it grows into something completely different.

    Today’s love (36 years later) is even better. When I see the love of my life unexpectedly, my heart skips a beat. When I come home his loving arms embrace me and I know I’m really home. His laughter is joy to me, his kindnesses touch me, his strength holds me up when I’m struggling.

    Raging self doubt? not with the right one…at least eventually.

    1. heidischwab Avatar
      heidischwab

      So beautifully lovely to have found love that you share!
      <3

    2. geoffreyhale Avatar

      Allison, your comment gives me a warm feeling of optimism. I enjoy reading about your experience in an apparently successful, long-term, loving relationship. Statistics and a history of experience with my younger self both challenge my hope for maintaining a life-long, loving relationship. Success of course is highly dependent on companion or one’s compatibility therewith. I find the unique experience of self-doubt to be exciting as I suspect it is an indicator of superior potential, if only by one’s own strong interest. In my experience, in accordance with your “…at least eventually”, there’s certainly potential for a wonderful sense of fullness, support and happiness at the end of the honeymoon phase.

  3. heidischwab Avatar
    heidischwab

    In my experience, raging self-doubt, as a result of any cause, is an issue unto itself. Intensely loving someone is a beautiful self-torture mechanism, because of its shadow. Pain is not caused by the selfless act of loving someone incredibly, but by the selfish act of overwhelmingly desiring that intense love be reciprocated. Unfortunately, this is completely out of our control– and has no guarantee of receipt. The universe has amazingly unexpected ways of loving us back. Self-love, readiness and openness are gems to hold.
    Love on! Rock on!

    1. geoffreyhale Avatar

      It is my understanding that we are very much in control of our worlds. I don’t believe that the receiving of love is out of our control. Neither do you or anyone who believes in putting effort into a relationship, recognizes birthdays or strives to remember someone’s name.

      I’ll skip the “what is an issue” discussion and focus on self-doubt. Let’s simplify the consideration of self-doubt by eliminating the adverb “raging” as well as eliminating the loaded field of love. If one experiences self-doubt in regards to obtaining a glass of water or perhaps getting into a reach-school or job position, is this an issue? Is it an issue to be realistic – to reflect on the supposition that one does not meet the basic requirements for the job and therefor is likely not to obtain the job? Certainly, I would agree that any “wallowing” or wasted or unhealthy energy can be justifiably called “an issue.” But I believe there is no issue with reasonable doubt, even if it is self-doubt.

      Regarding room for improvement and reframing – there is quite a bit. Certainly self-love is a popular practice with measurable benefits. Readiness and openness are catalysts or requirements for identifying and realizing opportunity. But in regards to self-doubt, I think the points of potential improvement are not solely isolated issues within the sufferer and we should not be quick to prescribe for such a case. In the case of a repeat self-doubter, I agree – there is likely an issue of self-love. But in the case of a unique experience of self-doubt, this may be a powerful indicator illuminating the obvious, the desire for and potential importance of the object, as well as being a good point for a sobriety check. We would be quick to diagnose a self-doubter with low self-esteem, but perhaps in the case of a unique experience of self-doubt, this provides a unique incident for a consistently confident lover to re-examine how they treat themselves and the object of their affection. In the case that a lover has a unique experience of self-doubt, perhaps it is not self-love, readiness nor openness that should be practiced but self-reflection, conscientiousness and gratitude.

      Thanks for food for thought. =)

  4. […] love is not received or reciprocated. It shows the incredible power of depth I possess. I want my intense love to be felt and returned. There I go with ‘want’ again. What have I learned about […]

  5. heidischwab Avatar
    heidischwab

    I agree that we are very much in control of our worlds. However, I do not believe that we can control others. Others make up their own hearts and minds. This is what makes finding love such a miracle and gift. I cannot make someone love me. I can influence them in my direction, for them to see and love me.

    I love this conclusion, “But in the case of a unique experience of self-doubt, this may be a powerful indicator illuminating the obvious, the desire for and potential importance of the object, as well as being a good point for a sobriety check.” …”this provides a unique incident for a consistently confident lover to re-examine how they treat themselves and the object of their affection.”

    Sometimes the object has incredible power and influence over the lover, whether intentionally or inadvertently. Sometimes the potential importance of the object can feel an overwhelming drive for the lover. I can definitely relate. Love is such an enormously driving force in my world.

    Further thanks.
    😉

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