It seems the more intensely we love someone, especially someone new, the more prone we are to experience sense of self-doubt and impending doom. Omg, it’s been 2 hours and they haven’t texted me once! Are they okay? Do they not love me anymore? Are they cheating on me? What did I do? Obviously, relax – easier said than done.
It may be counterintuitive but it seems to be the nature of the game – feel more good – feel more bad. Fortunately, as we mature the bad tends to fade, but so does the good – the sense of magic and blinding obsession that we enjoyed or suffered from in high school just doesn’t happen anymore. Or does it?
Is it possible to learn to love as freely as a child, with all the bells and whistles of infatuation with a high school sweetheart, without the doubt and fear of failure? Love yourself. I know, I keep saying it over and over – love yourself. Loving yourself is the number one way to relieve self-doubt. It builds confidence and helps you understand that you’ll be okay if you don’t succeed – heck, you’ll still be loveable. But what if someone feels like the one, our soulmate, our destiny? What if life can’t go on without them by our side?
We’ve all been there. We’ve all been infatuated or intensely in love and most of us have had our hearts broken – more than once. Sometimes we break them ourselves. But it only takes one that got away to build a growing sense of anxiety – omg, she’s perfect. Ah, what now? – and we freeze or act completely out of character. In my case, I sit back in my consciousness generally reserved for catastrophes and heated situations – no good because in case you haven’t heard, girls just want to have fun.
Here’s the crux of the issue – if you shut down and doubt yourself you’ll be less confident, less fun and less you – all intensely undesirable traits. If you really love someone, there’s no better time to open up to yourself and enjoy the gift of puppy love.
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