I am grateful to be feeling so much today. I have been particularly inspired by learning about Dhyana, or meditation of yoga. It actually brought me to tears this morning and I’ve been in a slow, positive, steady emotional recovery since. I am presently feeling refreshed with appreciation for my own self-knowledge.
“…once it has been trained to stare unblinkingly at a single object for a long period of time.”
I had been focusedly and meditatively staring and watching myself flounder, stagnate, regress, digress, punish and even sabotage for a regrettable amount of time– irreplaceable time of my life. My perspective was that of being in despair; down in it; treading water; barely keeping my nose above the surface. I was sad and lost– living in consequences of poor choices. But, then this shift began to happen in me. I was thinking and writing volumes about my feelings and experiences. My thoughts started to shift; unconsciously, at first, then with awareness that something was changing in me. I initiated a complete physical removal from my situation of misery, despair, and the hopelessness that I had been clinging to for so long that it had become all I thought I knew how to be. (Don’t worry– the story gets better!)
“…it then turns inward upon itself, watching itself watch itself.”
While I was away, feelings of calm, optimism and power began to return and grow. I could better and more clearly see myself and surrounding spheres of influence. I was able to see and begin to use my power again. I began affecting instead of being effected. I had begun to yoga. I began being honest with myself. I began practicing my perceived virtues. I began accepting myself. I began forgiving myself. I began loving myself again. I began embracing trust and confidence in others. I began loving and connecting, vulnerably. I could see my Self changing inside of myself. I’ve begun to dream again. I’m creating again. I’m really feeling again. I’m alive again!
“This awareness takes place without judgment or evaluation, and drives a wedge between our experience and our Self.”
I have experienced these awakenings, realizations and lights revealed very neutrally. I feel no negative or positive judgement of myself. I feel sweet love and forgiveness. I am neither good nor bad– I am neither while I am both. I have done; I am doing; and, I will do. I feel a great sense of strength, calm, power, optimism, potential, excitement and motivation knowing that everything is going to be alright. Not just alright– everything is going to be, and already is, amazing! I wish to share my energy and love.
-Dhyana excerpts quoted from Geoffrey Hale’s article, “Eight Steps on the Yogic Path to Enlightenment.”
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