First, I tend not to accept anything at face value, especially the socially popular idea that loving a thing is “bad”. I avoid loving most “things” for very specific reasons. First, I don’t want to be caught in any cycle of addictive consumerism. Second, I don’t particularly enjoy the pain of losing something I love. That said, I’d prefer to continue to open up to love and appreciate all people and things which leaves me wondering how I can reduce the correlation between love of something and the potential pain of losing that something or someone. This is an age-old question that has led many including myself into explorations of unconditional love, polyamory, minimalism, excess, insensitivity and forgiveness.
Second, “this too shall pass!” For me, this means many things. First, so shall your jacket pass, and it did with a disruptive sense of prematurity. Second, my emotional reaction, which become more of existential angst and philosophical turmoil over my ever-changing approach to loving bits of life than it was about a valuable piece of inherited leather insulation. This suggested that all things eventually pass can be leveraged in many ways, but I’m left to wonder how it plays into my first question above. Perhaps acknowledging that all things shall pass grants a freedom to love and appreciate people and things while reducing the potential suffering in the case of experiencing it passing prematurely. Perhaps this allows us not only to love more safely but allows us to love more reasonably, accurately, fully. It is a romantic, dangerous delusion to love anything with any sense of forever.
Third, isolation is both a blessing and a curse. It gives us time with ourselves, with only ourselves to judge and approve or disgust. I recommend periods of aloneness to any range of time and degrees, from nightly prayer to week-long silent retreats to living alone in the woods for a summer. In these periods of aloneness, your layers may tend to reveal themselves and you may learn of and feel many inspiring and unsettling pieces of yourself. You may be challenged in ways that you are unprepared to handle and you will do things that feel strange or out of character. These experiences can help you enrich your understanding of yourself, of “who I am”, and learn to love and appreciate both yourself, your environment, your habits and your dreams in a new light.
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