Cultivate Equanimity

If your mind becomes firm like a rock
And no longer shakes
In a world where everything is shaking
Your mind will be your greatest friend
And suffering will not come your way.
-poem from the Therigatha

Steadiness and strength of mind in the midst of stress, chaos and uncertainty of life, is not a modest endeavor. However, cultivating an equanimous mind is imperative to a successful and fulfilling journey through life. Equanimity describes a complete openness to experience, without being lost in reactions of love and hate. It is a powerful quality that fortifies other essentials of character. It is a foundation for wisdom by enabling deep insights and truths to be found. Equanimity provides a balance that empowers loving-kindness with patience. Without equanimity we might demand happiness occur in ways that we think it should, rather than staying connected and finding happiness in things as they are. Equanimity unites compassion with courage, so that we may face the inevitable pains and challenges of life. Generally speaking, life is beyond what we can control or predict.

Equanimity describes a state of balance. Even when things don’t result as desired, the mind is imbued with a calm radiance. It is not to be confused with indifference, coldness, hesitation or withdrawal– these are forms of aversion. With equanimity, we are able to accept the world and connect with it on its terms. There will always be fluctuation between pleasure and pain. We need equanimity to remain balanced and present in the flow between the two. Equanimity is unbiased mindfulness—a state of comprehending things as they actually are. We need to strive to abandon both movements of favoring and opposing realities and circumstances. Acknowledge what you feel, whether painful or pleasant. There should be no cessation of feeling. No intention of being numb, or dulled. Rather, of movement toward feeling without craving.

The challenge lies in moving power to equanimity, instead of falling victim to circumstances of shifting feelings and life that are out of our control. Equanimity is the quality of mindfulness that is balanced; present and free of the habit of grasping and lusting; of aversion and pushing away; and of indifference. In an untrained mind, when pleasure arises, the mind grasps after it, tries to make it stay. When an unpleasant feeling arises, aversion, anger, blame, withdrawal, fear or some form of pushing away occurs. Probably the best way of working with equanimity is to embrace our obstacles; to open to our challenges, whatever they may be. Obstacles test our balance and poise in life. We learn from life’s situations so that we don’t try to avoid, control, manipulate and contain experiences, but allow the possibility of just being with something, as it is, equanimously.

Contemplation of cause and effect supports equanimity. This is the approach of wisdom. We see how things arise due to causes; how the effects have been determined by the causes– not by our wishes; and how desire and aversion complicate matters. Essentially, life develops equanimity as we open more to our day to day experiences, present for both the things we like and those we dislike. In our daily lives, relationships, and work situations, we cultivate the willingness to be equally close to all things. When we understand that things arise due to causes and conditions, we stop struggling to control the results.

It is important to practice equanimity. Even in meditation we might notice the tendency to try to control experience. In my Bikram meditation and practice I welcome small, yet significant opportunities that challenge me to keep my mind steady and unswayed by desire and aversion. Resisting the urge to wipe dripping sweat from my body or brow, while holding challenging isometric poses, in 108 degree heat is quite a mental feat. I acknowledge and feel the glistening streams of sweat and will myself to let them be. One day they will not even enter my mind as a distraction from focus on my practice– my moment. Practicing equanimity trains attention in the face of pleasant, unpleasant, or fluctuating experiences. Equanimity matures when we contact things, whether pleasant or painful, with a mind that is balanced.

Cultivating equanimity enables me to have “…the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” – from The Serenity Prayer, by Reinhold Niebuhr